Brokenness to Belovedness — Part 4: Returning Home to Yourself

There’s a moment in every healing journey where you finally exhale — not because everything is “fixed,” but because you’ve stopped running from yourself.

For years, I thought belovedness was something you earned at the end of transformation. After you healed. After you grew. After you performed enough, proved enough, achieved enough to finally be “worthy.”

But belovedness was never the finish line.

It was the starting point I had forgotten.

A soft sunrise breaking through trees, symbolizing return / new beginning

The Long Way Back

When you’ve lived in brokenness long enough, it begins to feel like home. Even the pain becomes familiar. Even the anxiety becomes predictable. Even the self-criticism becomes a language you learn to speak fluently.

We cling to old patterns because they’re known — even if they hurt us.

But belovedness…Belovedness is unfamiliar at first.

It’s quiet. It’s gentle. It’s unconditional. It doesn’t demand anything from you. It doesn’t shout. It doesn’t shame. It doesn’t push.

It simply waits for you to remember.

A gentle image of a person walking on a quiet trail

The Healing You Didn’t Know You Needed

There’s a strange disorientation that comes when you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes for the first time. You expect judgment. You expect tension. You expect a list of things to fix.

Instead, you’re met with… love.

Love that doesn’t flinch at the parts of you you’ve tried to hide. Love that isn’t intimidated by your story. Love that looks at every fractured place and calls it precious. Love that meets you in the very spot you thought disqualified you.

Belovedness is not naïve. It sees everything — and embraces you anyway.

This is where the shift happens.

Not when you “finally become better.” But when you finally accept that you are loved now.

You Don’t Have to Climb Your Way to Wholeness

Sometimes the deepest healing is not about doing more, but allowing more.

Allowing kindness. Allowing rest. Allowing joy. Allowing softness. Allowing connection. Allowing yourself to be held rather than holding everything together.

Brokenness teaches us to brace. Belovedness teaches us to breathe.

Brokenness insists you must earn love. Belovedness whispers you were loved before you took your first breath.

Brokenness tells you to prove yourself. Belovedness invites you to simply be yourself.

This is the homecoming.

A peaceful garden, dew on leaves, calm nature imagery

Living as the Beloved

Belovedness isn’t a feeling — it’s an orientation. A posture. A way of seeing yourself through the eyes of infinite Love.

It changes how you speak to yourself. It changes how you treat your body. It changes how you show up in relationships. It changes how you work, create, rest, and dream. It changes the entire energy behind your life.

You stop striving for acceptance…and begin living from it.

You stop chasing peace…and begin carrying it.

You stop reaching for love…and realize love was reaching for you all along.

Soft light shining through a window

You Are Already Home

This four-part journey wasn’t meant to tell you who to become.

It was to remind you of who you’ve always been.

Beloved. Seen. Held. Treasured. Chosen. Whole.

Not someday. Not after you heal enough. Not after you earn it.

Now.

Belovedness isn’t the destination of your journey.

It’s the identity you carry through every step of it.

And as you tend the garden within you — gently, lovingly, patiently — you will discover that God’s presence was never far. It has always been intertwined with your breath, your being, your becoming.

You are already home.

Check out Our Bodies as the Garden of Eden for more!

Infinite love and blessings,

Nicholas